Happy Birthday, Deidara!
by KazuCat
Summary: Deidara doesn't think anyone in Akatsuki will notice his birthday, especially that emotionless puppet Sasori no Danna! Tobi and Hidan have a funny time trying to give the blonde a good birthday but all he really wants is to spend time with Sasori. SasoDei story. Rated M for yaoi and strong language. XD


Deidara sat on the couch at the Akatsuki base, just like any other morning. The complete usual. Except, today was Deidara's birthday. He'd never admit it to another person, but really all he wanted was Sasori no Danna... The blonde rolled the spoon around in his cereal absentmindedly. But that was crazy, nobody would probably even know it was his birthday... Especially that emotionless puppet. Deidara rubbed his chin in thought. Well, He did have to give his personal information when they recruited him so maybe... just maybe if Sasori no Danna was paying close attention he would... No, impossible. Even if they knew, would anyone in this organization even care?

"Deidara senpai!" Tobi whined from behind him. "You already got yourself cereal... But then how will you eat the pancakes I made for you?" Deidara turned his head around in confusion, "Hm? Tobi, why would you make me pancakes?" "Because..." Tobi walked in front of the blonde, presenting the plate to him. "It's your birthday! I tried to write 'Happy Birthday Senpai' with syrup but it kinda ran all over the place and now you can't really tell. But it's the thought that counts, right? I tried really hard, Senpai!" Deidara couldn't help but smile lightly, at least this dumbass cared... But could Sasori no Danna? He took the plate from Tobi gratefully. "Uhhh... I suppose I should... you know... what you say when somebody does something nice for you, hmmm." The blonde admitted, turning away out of embarrassment.

"Psssh! Don't thank me, Senpai. It's your birthday!" Tobi exclaimed, taking the unfinished bowl of cereal and putting it on the coffee table. "Oh! I guess you need a fork now! I got too excited and forgot that most essential part! Be right back!" Tobi said frantically, returning to the kitchen. It was just across from the living room so it wasn't that far. Deidara sighed with amusement. That was Tobi. The masked nin returned, huffing and puffing, "Here you go, Senpai!"

"I'm not going to get food poisoning, am I?" Deidara asked sceptically. "Of course not, Tobi is the best cook, y'know?" The masked nin stated proudly, sitting down on the couch next to the blonde. He peered at his senpai curiously, hopefully he would like them. Deidara gave him an unimpressed expression then took a bite, chewing awkwardly as Tobi stared at him. They were really good... But would he stop staring?! It was making the blonde uncomfortable. "Soooooo?~" Tobi asked curiously. "It's good, hm." Deidara admitted.

The goofy nin clasped his hands together, "I'm so glad! So uhm, Senpai..." He changed his tone to be more serious. "What would you like for your birthday?" "A genie, hm." Deidara said stubbornly and then continued to eat. The taller boy rubbed his chin in confusion, "I would totally get you one but I'm not sure if they exist! Oh, and if they do, I don't know if I could find one by the end of today!" Tobi fretted, as if the suggestion was serious. Well he thought it was serious, he was Tobi. Deidara chuckled, "It was a joke, Tobi, hm. But really it would take three wishes to grant what I want..." The blonde admitted sadly. As if Tobi would even understand.

"Oh! I could be your metaphorical genie! Just give me your wishes and I'll make sure they come true!" Tobi said excitedly. Deidara smirked, "Thanks, Dummy. But really though, it's out of your control. It kind of relies on another person... hm..." He blushed slightly, the most he'd ever admitted about his secret crush before. But it was Tobi, he probably wouldn't understand what he was saying anyway. "Ohh! I know that face!" The masked nin giggled. Deidara blushed harder, did he really know? "Oh, Senpai. You've fallen in love with me, haven't you?" He petted the other boys back comfortingly and Deidara frowned. "I should have seen it coming... You say it's out of my control because you can't force me to feel the same! Not only has senpai noticed me, but he's fallen in love with me too! Oh my, oh my. But senpai you see,..." "You idiotic, moron, ignoramus! I'm not in love with you, stupid!" Deidara shouted angrily.

Hearing part of the conversation, Hidan couldn't help but see what was going on. 'What had Tobi done this time?' He thought amused. "You're...not?" Tobi said dumbfounded. "I'm not! N-O-T. As if I would fall in love with an artistically challenged being like you, hm." Deidara huffed, crossing his arms. The silver haired male burst out laughing, sneaking up behind the couch, "What the fuck is going on? Did you just confess your love to blondie or something? I've told you many times Tobi, he may look like a girl, but it's a trap!"

Deidara squinted his eyes... He thought this was his birthday... not pick on him day. "Oh no, Hidan Senpai. My Tobi's intuition was telling me Senpai is in love but he wont tell me with who." Tobi put his finger to his mask innocently. "It doesn't matter who knows." Deidara spat. "He would never return my feelings anyway, so it's pointless worrying about it." "He! He?" Hidan put his hand up to his face with laughter. "Laugh it up, asshole." The blonde glared at him. "Please tell me, Senpai!" Tobi clasped his hands together and begged. "Come on! At least give me a hint!"

Deidara sighed, "Fine. I'll give you a hint. He's calm, cool and the most artistic person in Akatsuki! Well, besides myself, of course, hm!" Tobi tilted his head, thinking it through and Hidan watched in amusement. "My conclusion just keeps coming back to me. Are you sure you're not in denial?" The masked nin admitted and Deidara punched him in the arm. "Moron! You'll never come close to being as cool as Sasori no Danna!" He fumed, before realizing what he said and blushing bright red. Hidan whistled, "Wow, he got the hots for a puppet." "I mean... hmmm... I just threw a random name out there I didn't mean or it to sound like-" "Senpai, you admitted it!" Tobi cheered. The blondes blush grew deeper, "Hmm, so what... now you know, I guess. But like I said, there's no way Sasori no Danna would return my feelings so it's just best to get over them." Deidara admitted sadly.

Hidan sighed before taking his leave, "This has become too gay for me, I'm out before he starts crying." Tobi stared at Deidara, taking his hands hopefully, but the blonde pulled them away instantly. "Deidara, what if I plan something, get everyone together, including Sasori Senpai and you two could spend time together. If Sasori complains just tell him you're doing it for me, okay?" "I don't know... Unless we have a mission, Sasori no Danna rarely leaves his workshop, hm." Deidara said sadly. "Well, go there and do everything you can to convince him to go!" Tobi said, as if it was the most obvious thing. "I'll try but Sasori no Danna isn't easily swindled, hm."

Deidara made his way to Sasori no Danna's room. This was so ridiculous, he thought as he opened the door. He guessed it was worth a shot though. "Sasori no Danna!" The blonde greeted in his usual tone. "Deidara... You should know not to interrupt me while I'm in my workshop. What do you want?" The red head asked in his usual grumpy tone. His back was turned to Deidara while he sat his desk and he didn't even bother to turn his head. "Jeesh." Deidara commented as he checked the place out. There were puppets and parts hanging everywhere and tools laying on every surface. "Would it kill you to clean up in here, hm?" He mocked. "Says the guy who thinks destruction is true art." Sasori countered. "Now tell me why you're here, brat."

Deidara continued pacing around the room at leisure, not in a big hurry to answer the red heads' question. "I just wanted to hang out with you, I guess hm." "You guess?" Sasori mused, finally turning around in his chair. Danna was so elegant, his shaggy red hair and his chocolate-brown eyes... Deidara could melt on the spot every time he looked at him. "Mhmm! Would it be that hard to put a couch in here, hm?" The blonde looked around, realizing there was nowhere for him to sit. Danna's lap looked appealing but he didn't think the other boy would enjoy that too much. Sasori smirked, "You see, I don't get too many guests." "Well you have one now." Deidara pouted and the red head chuckled, "Yeah, an uninvited one."

"Danna, do you know what today is?" The blonde asked curiously and Sasori gave him a confused look. "Sunday? Did you hit your head or something?" Deidara squinted his eyes. "No... Is there anything else important about this day?" He hinted. "I don't really find Sunday relevant but no, I don't know of anything else that makes today important." Sasori said in his usual dull voice. Why was Deidara asking all these questions? Was he trying to waste his time? "Danna!" Deidara whined. "It's my birthday today, hm." He admitted, a little embarrassed. A strange feeling washed over Sasori but he ignored it, "Oh? Well, why are you telling me?" Deidara blushed slightly, looking down at the floor. Sasori noticed his pause, and it confused him. He couldn't understand why the blonde was acting this way.

"Why don't you go out with Hidan and Tobi and go drink or meet girls? Whatever humans do for fun nowadays." The red head shrugged. Deidara shook his head. "But I don't find that fun, Danna." Sasori made an amused sound, "Oh? And bothering me is your definition of fun?" The bomber nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, hm! Well, Tobi was saying about getting everyone together and... I was wondering if you would go too. It's just one day out of eternity, right?" Deidara grinned and Sasori smiled lightly. "I suppose. And you might be dead before you get another birthday so I could go."Of course Sasori no Danna would say something mean to cover up doing something nice, Deidara thought with amusement. But at least he was going!

"Let's go then, Danna!" The blonde said happily and Sasori followed him out the door, not caring as much. A note on the wall caught Deidara's eye. Was this there before he entered the room? He didn't remember it. Sasori stared with curiosity as the blonde took down the note. "What does it say?" The red head urged impatiently. "Hmm, it's from Tobi. It says to go to my room. That's strange but I guess if he wants everyone to meet there." Deidara shrugged. The puppet ninja nodded, "Okay then, let's go."

Deidara looked to Sasori before opening the door, a strange feeling of worry washing over him. After entering he noticed the room was lit with candles and rose petals were on the bed. The blonde blushed after he realized what was going on and Sasori just looked around blankly. "Are they late? I hate waiting." He commented, as if this atmosphere were completely normal. Soon the door closed and locked behind them and "Let's get it on" by Marvin Gaye started playing. Deidara blushed harder. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" He shouted flustered. Sasori gave him a confused look and raised and eyebrow. "Is this supposed to be a joke?" "No, he's serious." The blonde sat on the bed and hid his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Sasori no Danna! This is so embarrassing!"

"Senpai! Is it okay? I can change the song if you want! It was a toss-up between this or 'Bad Touch' but I wasn't sure what kind of mood you would prefer!" Tobi's voice rang from the other side of the door and the blonde just groaned in his hand. "Deidara, what's going on? By the lyrics of this song, he wants us to have sex?" Sasori asked, tone completely serious as he went to sit by his partner. "Danna, don't say that!" Deidara shouted in frustration. "I was just making an observation." The red head mumbled innocently. "Well stop! I'm so embarrassed, I could die!" The blonde whined.

Soon enough the song faded out. Sasori chuckled lightly, "It's just a song, Deidara. No need to get so embarrassed, unless of course you have pent-up sexual desires for me?" The red head joked and Deidara blushed even harder. "Of course not, that's preposterous, hm!" "I don't know. You did give up the suggestion to meet girls just to hang out with me." Sasori smirked. Was... Sasori no Danna flirting with him? It almost seemed like it... "D-danna." Deidara said, taking his face away from his hands and looking directly at the other boy. "What would you even do if I liked you, hm?" The red head's eye brows furrowed, "What would I do?" He mused.

"Yeah! I mean, I'm just curious is all, hm! And it's my birthday so you have to give me an answer!" Deidara said flustered. "Oh. Well I guess I would say that's preposterous." Sasori chuckled nervously and the blonde shook his head. "What if it wasn't preposterous? But, completely serious? Then what?" Deidara asked seriously, getting closer to the other boy, then softened his expression and blushed. "I mean, just curious still of course, hm!" "For someone whose -just- curious, you sure want to know badly." Sasori said with amusement. "Stop beating around the bush. I thought you hated making others wait, hm. Unless it's embarrassing what you -would- do, hm?" The blonde smirked confidently now that Sasori was the one being questioned.

Sasori made an amused sound, "What do you want me to say? I'd make love to you on this bed of rose petals?" He picked up one of them absentmindedly, then turned back to the blonde. Deidara blushed then tried to regain his confidence, "Uhm, well if that's what you would do then, yes, hm." Why couldn't Danna just give him a straight answer? If he felt nothing at all towards him wouldn't the answer had been easy? Unless he was trying to spare his feelings, but did Sasori even possess sympathy?

"Deidara, I don't know what I would do. I've never thought about it before. That's my honest answer." Sasori admitted seriously. Deidara nodded, somewhat disappointed then giggled. "It's okay. It wasn't serious anyway so, hm." "You're a strange one, that's for sure." Sasori commented, getting up to his feet. "Let me know if you're meeting up later or whatever. I'm going back to my room for now."

The blonde sighed once his Danna left. Had he gotten anywhere with Sasori after all this time? Even made an impact on him? A tiny one? He looked up gloomily as Tobi and Hidan entered the room. "Senpaiiiii! Sasori didn't like it?" Tobi shrieked, offended. Deidara chuckled lightly, he guessed the scenario was kind of amusing. "No, Tobi, hm. It was a bit too over the top for his liking. And I don't think Sasori no Danna is the type to just have sex on a whim just because you put out some candles and romantic music." The masked nin nodded understandingly, "Well, I will have to come up with a plan B then!"

"Aw, don't worry, Deidara-chan!" Hidan chuckled, giving the blonde a noogie and ruffling his hair. "So, you didn't get birthday sex? Just use a sock tonight, that's what I do sometimes." Deidara pouted, "I don't even know what you're talking about, hm." "Better yet, you could make it a sock puppet and pretend its Sasori if you want. Draw a face on there. You're an artist, you'll figure it out." Hidan joked and Deidara frowned, "No."

"Tobi's confused, what would Senpai do with a sock?" The young nin put his finger to his lip innocently and Deidara sighed. "Tobi, you don't even want to know what this moron is talking about, hm." The Jashinist shrugged, "Well, Sasori's a puppet. He's really just a big blow up doll, I don't understand why you would... Oh!" Hidan exclaimed, an idea popping into his head. "Tobi, I got an idea for blondie. Come on." "Be back soon, Senpai!" Tobi shouted as the two left to go with whatever crazy idea Hidan had probably came up with.

The two walked down the hall of the Akatsuki base, heading for Sasori's room. "Well, I think I heard from Kakuzu once that Sasori has multiple puppets of himself. So, I was thinking we distract him and steal one for blondie. It's the perfect birthday gift! His personal blow up doll!" Hidan said excitedly, like it was the best idea in the world. Tobi made an unsure sound, "I don't know, Hidan. I mean I think Deidara Senpai really likes Sasori... on an emotional level. But I guess if he can't have the real thing then... it's close enough."

Once they made it to Sasori's door, Tobi shifted his feet nervously. "How will we even distract him anyway? Deidara Senpai told me earlier it's near impossible to get him to leave his room." Hidan smirked, "You'll think of something!" The Jashinist knocked on the door and bolted down the hall. "W-what!?" Tobi shouted. "Whose there?" Sasori's irritated voice called from other side of the door, opening it to see the young nin. "Uhhh- uhm. Cleaning service!" Tobi tried to say in a feminine voice, scratching his head nervously. The red head closed the door in his face, unamused.

The masked nin ran down the hallway to meet Hidan, "It didn't work, Hidan Senpai! He closed the door in my face!" Hidan stroked his hand through his slicked back hair, "Fuck sakes, that asshole. I'll go try and you wait here. I got an idea but you're not going to have much time." Tobi nodded excitedly, "I'll be fast! Like a ninja!" "You are a ninja." Hidan chuckled, walking down to the door while Tobi got ready. "You can do it, Hidan Senpai." The young nin mumbled.

Hidan knocked on the door casually, "Yo, Sasori! Pein is calling us for a meeting!" He heard footsteps approaching, the little bugger bought it. Sasori opened the door and looked around suspiciously. "Okay. Where's he having the meeting?" "Come with me, I'll show you." The red head nodded, making sure to lock his room before following the Jashinist. Tobi went over to the door and ruffled his hair, he had locked the door! Now how was he supposed to get in? Oh! -That- could work, he thought excitedly using kamui to go through the door. Tobi did a thumbs up sign, to no one in particular then started looking around the room. Senpai was going to be so happy, he knew it!

After the plan was over, Tobi had found the puppet and Sasori had returned to his room, completely unnoticing... yet. He was a bit pissed off about the canceled meeting though and he wondered why everyone was pulling pranks on him today. It wasn't funny and it was a huge waste of his time. "Senpai, we got you a birthday gift!" Tobi said excitedly, opening the door and presenting him with the puppet. Hidan followed in afterwards. "It was my idea, really. Don't thank me, blondie. You deserve it."

Deidara blushed, they had stolen one of Sasori no Danna's puppets?! What... morons! But... part of him was curious... He could do whatever he wanted to Sasori no Danna and he wouldn't even know... Wait, no! He couldn't do that! "Hey, we should see if he has a dick. I've always been curious." Hidan said, reaching for the puppet from Tobi. Deidara intercepted and grabbed the puppet posessively, squishing it against his chest. "Don't defile my Sasori no Danna, hm!" "Come on, Deidara-chan. Don't tell me you've never been curious." Hidan smirked and the blonde looked down at the puppet blushing, "Well... Maybe a little bit. But it's none of our business! You guys shouldn't have stolen his puppet, hm."

Surely enough, Sasori appeared behind them, looking more pissed off then ever. "Deidara, why the hell did you steal my puppet? Like I wouldn't notice someone was rummaging through my room..." Sasori growled and Tobi made an 'eep!' sound, backing away from the pissed off red head. "Danna!" Deidara said in shock, handing him the puppet back. "It wasn't me, it was these two morons!" The red head stuck up his nose arrogantly, holding the puppet under his arm. It looked strange to see Sasori carrying himself. "Whatever. But you probably told them to." "Nooo! Senpai had nothing to do with it! Hidan was trying to see if your puppet had a penis and Senpai protected it, so you should be grateful to him!" Tobi waved his hands and Hidan frowned "You try to do someone a favour and it all just blows up in your face..."

Sasori grit his teeth, pissed off that someone would try to defile his creation. "So you deceived me, snuck into my room, stole my belongings... For that?" "Well, not entirely." Tobi shook his head, unsure if he should admit their true intentions. "Nevermind. I don't care why." "Danna! Don't get mad at them. They have pea brains, it's not their fault." Deidara explained, unclear if he was trying to protect them or insult them or both. "Hey, who the fuck are you calling a pea brain? Well, you're a dumb blonde who has the hots for a puppet! There, I said it. It's out in the open now." Hidan fumed, just creating a new mess for the blonde. Tobi squeaked and backed up further. This wasn't going very well.

"Is that true, Deidara?" Sasori asked, emotion void from his tone. He stared at the blonde intensely, waiting for an answer, "Well?" "It's not like that, Danna!" Deidara waved his hands innocently. "These idiots misunderstand me. I just said I admired your craftsmanship and they totally blew it out of proportion, hm! I swear!" "That's not what you said!" Hidan countered, "You said you want to fuck him over a table and if you couldn't have the real thing, an unconscious version would do! So me and Tobi, being the kind souls we are were just trying to give you you're birthday wish." The silver haired male lied.

Deidara blushed bright red and frowned, "I said nothing of the sort, hm! I would never say something so vulgar! Right, Tobi?" The blonde looked desperately to him for help. Tobi nodded, "Right! I know my Senpai and he's definitely not the 'over a table' type of guy! He's a bed full of rose petals type of guy!" Deidara made an unamused expression, but it was better than the latter at least. "So what!" Hidan groaned, "It's all the same. Okay, you want to fuck him by the fireplace and cry in each others arms afterwards? Either way, you just want to fuck him, plain and simple."

Deidara's lip trembled and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. This was the worst day of his life. Was there even a use fighting back? Sasori probably thought he was some perverted weirdo now... He wasn't really! He just liked him... Danna would have to be an idiot not to have figured that out by now... "You're all assholes! I hate you all, and thanks for ruining my birthday!" Deidara shouted as he ran out the door, leaving the three boys in silence, all feeling guilty. "What a drama queen." Hidan groaned. "What's so embarrassing about being down to fuck?" Tobi and Sasori looked at him briefly and unamused before the red head turned to leave.

"Sasori Senpai!" Tobi begged, "Hear me out, okay? I know we messed up big time and most of what Hidan said is a lie! You probably know something is up though so I will tell you..." Tobi looked to the floor, embarrassed. "Deidara Senpai admitted earlier that he liked you but he didn't say anything about fucking over tables or stuff like that! He really has strong feelings for you, I can tell. I guess we sorta blew it all out of proportion with our schemes but I just want Senpai to have a good birthday. Even if you don't feel the same way back, could you at least do something kind for him?" Sasori nibbled his lip, thinking it over. This had really became quite the fiasco. "I suppose I could do that."

"Thank you, Sasori senpai!" Tobi put up his hands excitedly. "Now, we're going to have to get over our differences and work together if we want to cheer up Senpai. Sasori, will you talk to him and convince him to meet with us? Tell him we're sorry we screwed up and want to make it up to him." Sasori nodded unsurely. He didn't really know why he cared if Deidara was upset or not but part of him wanted to help. He knew the notion behind birthdays were supposed to be happy so maybe... he would feel guilty if the blonde ended today while being upset with him.

"Deidara, why are you down here?" Sasori asked irritated as he walked into the basement. There were various ninja weapons scattered everywhere along with random things as well. Deidara sat in the corner, with his knees blocking his face. "I wanted to be alone and everyone sorta stole my room, hm!" He shouted and the red head nodded understandingly. Once he made it through the obstacle course of junk, he sat down beside his partner on the concrete floor. "W-wait! Danna, why are -you- here?" The blonde stuttered in confusion and embarrassment.

"I thought you might need some cheering up." Sasori admitted, staring up at the bright light on the ceiling absentmindedly. Deidara made an amused sound, lifting his head slightly to catch a glimpse of the other boy. "Heh, because that's your specialty, right?" "Hey, I'm at least better than those other two, right?" Sasori raised and eyebrow and smirked. Deidara couldn't help but chuckle. "Truth, hm." The blonde sighed, resting his chin on his knees. "They ruined everything! They should have just left me alone for the day!" He groaned and the red head glanced at him sympathetically. "You see, they wanted to apologize for that. Tobi explained to me what happened and they want to make it up to you." Deidara nodded, "They're still dumbasses, hm. So... uh... Danna, you don't believe anything they said, right?" He asked, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks again.

"Deidara, if I believed everything I heard, then I would also believe you hated me and thought I was an asshole." Sasori reassured and Deidara chuckled, "Well you can be an asshole sometimes but I don't hate you. That was mostly for Tobi and Hidan... Well, I don't really hate them either... Just they really pissed me off back there, hm..." "Really? Me too." Sasori said mockingly and then went to stand up, "We should at least give them a chance to apologize so... let's go? They're probably waiting." "Okay, Danna." Deidara nodded, getting up as well.

Once they made it back upstairs, Tobi presented him with a large cake that had 'Happy Birthday, Senpai!' written on it. "Senpai! We're so sorry! I hope this can make up for embarrassing you today." The young nin fretted and Deidara chuckled, "It's okay, really." Following Tobi out to the kitchen, he realized a few of the other Akatsuki members had shown up as well. Hidan was still there, as well as Kakuzu, Kisame, Konan and... Itachi?! He would show up? Deidara blushed for all the trouble Tobi must've went through to round everyone up. They didn't look too thrilled and were just sitting on the couch impatiently but at least they were there!

"Oh no! You look embarrassed again! Did we do something wrong?" Tobi panicked and the blonde shook his head, "It's fine, Tobi. Thank you, really." The masked nin squealed, "Well, you should blow out your birthday candles! I know it's not as good as a real genie but I'll be hoping your wish comes true, Senpai!" Deidara smiled lightly, "Okay." "Oh!" Tobi pulled the cake away, "Did you want us to sing happy birthday first?" "Please don't, hm." The blonde frowned, the cake being placed in front of him again. It was silly but he had of course wished for Sasori no Danna to return his feelings. It probably wouldn't come true but any shot was worth it!

Hidan pulled Deidara off to the side as Tobi began dishing up the cake. "You know, blondie, if you're wish for Sasori to have sex with you doesn't come true. I think you will rather like my birthday gift I got you. Don't thank me really." He patted the blonde on the shoulder. "I'm going to kill you..." Deidara frowned, "And for your information, I didn't wish that, hm!" He huffed, walking back over to his Danna, who just looked at him curiously. "Senpai, how big of a piece do you want?" Tobi called. "Uhh... anything is fine, hm!" Deidara shouted back.

After the cake was dished up, Deidara went over to the couch with the other Akatsuki. His red headed partner followed and plopped down beside him. The blonde put a fork full in his mouth and Sasori stared intently. He had always loved sweet foods before and the cake looked really good... The bomber blushed uncomfortably. "Did you... uhm, want some, Danna? I didn't think you ate." The red head shook his head, "I don't." "Oh. That's a shame, it's really good. Oh, why don't you use that human jutsu you use sometimes on missions?" Deidara mentioned excitedly and Sasori scoffed in return. "That's for serious purposes only. I wouldn't use it just to try some cake..." The blonde smirked, "Come on, Danna. You know you want some." He took a chunk of vanilla icing on his finger and put it on Sasori's nose.

The red head looked at the icing with interest, "Why did you do that?" Deidara giggled, "You look like you really want some, so I want you to try it. Who cares about being serious? You'll always be cool to me, Sasori no Danna!" Sasori smirked briefly, "Fine then." He did some hands signs and smoke surrounded him. After the smoke cleared, Deidara stared at him in awe, he looked pretty much the same but a little more lively than before. Putting his finger to his nose, the red head wiped off the icing and put it in his mouth. He sucked his finger and licked off the rest of the icing, unnoticing of his partners dismay. Deidara blushed bright red, getting naughty thoughts. "D-danna, use a fork, hm!"

"Oh, how rude of me..." Sasori mumbled, taking Deidara's fork out his hand and helping himself to his cake. Deidara giggled, putting his hand up to his mouth. "You say as you steal my fork, hm. It's okay though, you can have it." The red head nodded and took the plate gratefully. Danna was so cute! Deidara swooned in his head. Hidan suddenly swung his arms around the two from behind the couch. "D'aww! Look at the love birds. So, Sasori can have a dick after all? Looks like your wish came true, Deidara-chan." The Jashinist laughed obnoxiously and Deidara frowned, sinking back into the couch. "Are you sure I'm the only gay one? You seem to talk about dicks more than I do, hm." He mumbled. "Tsch. Shut up, idiot. I'm not gay." Hidan muttered, backing off. Sasori looked over at Deidara curiously, "You wished for me to have a dick?" His tone was completely serious. The bomber blushed bright red and almost died on the spot, "Of course not, hm! What happened to not believing everything you heard?!"

After everyone had cake and a few of them wished Deidara a happy birthday, much to his surprise, the two artists were left alone. It was nice what everyone had done for him, really. But all he wished for was to spend time with Sasori no Danna. "Thanks for coming today, Sasori!" Deidara said happily and the other boy smiled lightly, "No problem. Hey brat, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday but... I can finally give you an answer to your question from earlier." The blonde tilted his head in confusion, unsure what question his Danna was talking about. "What do you mean, hm?"

"You... asked me what I'd do if I found out you liked me." Sasori blushed slightly, unsure of what he was doing. Deidara felt the heat rise in his cheeks, "Oh, that. Uhm, what would you do?" He stared at the red head intently. "Well," Sasori grabbed Deidara's hand, making him flinch at the sudden contact. "I guess I would..." He trailed off, making the blonde more anxious than ever. Leaning in, the red head brushed his lips against the other boys before pressing down passionately. Danna was... kissing him!? Had he fallen asleep or something? Deidara returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping his arms around the red head, as if he would leave once thier lips parted.

After breaking the kiss, Sasori smirked at him. "I would do that." Deidara blushed harder. "Does... that mean you like me back, hm?" Sasori chuckled lightly, "I thought it was a hypothetical question, Deidara? But now will you answer something for me?" "O-ofcourse!" The blonde stammered. "Well..." Sasori mused, turning his glance to the floor. "What would you do if you... found out I liked you?" Was he serious? Deidara almost fainted from happiness, and his eyes watered happily, "Danna, is that ...a confession?" "I don't know, Deidara. Is it?" The red head raised an eyebrow. "I would say I like you too, Sasori no Danna!" Deidara exclaimed, bringing the other boy into a bear hug. Sasori smiled lightly, getting squished against the blondes chest. "I'm glad... And Happy Birthday, Deidara..." He said softly.

"Say Danna," Deidara loosened his grip on the other boy and chuckled, "You know what else I would do, hm?" "Huh?" Sasori asked, peering up at the blonde. "I would make love to you on a bed full of rose petals. Come on, it's already set up?" The bomber winked. The red head made an amused sound before straight out laughing. "Wow, brat. I give you an inch and you take a mile." "Come on, you can't let today end with a bang? All I'm asking for is a -few- inches anyway, hm." Deidara smirked. Putting his hand up to his face in utter amazement, Sasori sighed, "No. But thanks for trying. Ask Tobi or something." The blonde blushed, "But I want youuuuu!" He whined, the red head getting up to leave. "Danna, don't go!" Deidara shouted, following after him. "Use those socks Hidan got for you or something."

(AN: Sorry if the ending was a bit much XD I suck at endings so I hope a lot of people weren't thinking "that escalated quickly!" Thanks to everyone who reads this! I kinda wrote the whole thing at the top of my head so that's why the plot is just everywhere, going from sweet to funny haha. But I hope you like it. Happy Birthday Deidara! /Well on May 5th. But I'm posting this early for celebration~ Poor DeiDei didn't get bday sex from Danna hahaha, but I thought that would probably be a bit too out of character for Sasori to admit so much then do that. It would probably take a bit of time for him to work up to that. Y'know for a man whose probably never thought he'd ever have sex after turning himself into a puppet!)


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